Through It All
by theparamoregames
Summary: Post Mockingjay. Pre Epilogue. Follow Katniss and Peetas lives as they attempt to move forward and mend the broken foundations of their relationship.
1. Chapter 1: The Return

**Hi, OK this is my first story, so persist with me and what not. - Brooke **

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I sit on the porch steps out the front of my home in the Victors Village. No, I think the word "house" would be more appropriate as opposed to a home. A home is where you'll find your family, a place that's warm and inviting. The Victors village has never felt like home to me. Never. Not even when my mother and sister were here to fill the gaps. It's been two months and the wounds of her death are still raw inside of me. I can't bring myself to say her name out loud, but inside my head I scream it over and over again as I watch the flames consume her. Her lips form my name, and then it all replays. Over and over. Never changing, never stopping.

I stare around at the ash-ridden city that was Twelve, it's as good as abandon now days. Those who were evacuated to Thirteen haven't had the courage to come back, or couldn't face it without the loved ones they've lost. Not that I could blame them, everywhere you turn lies devastation after devastation. Collapsed buildings, broken families who will never quite recover, or the slightly charred smell that follows you throughout the district. I can't escape the thought of "who's ashes am I walking through now?" or "I killed you, it's my fault your dead." But it's true and I can't escape that thought no matter how persistently I try. I've been drowning in self pity and I'm the last person who deserves pity, even my own. But lately it's all I can use to describe myself and how horribly I ruined so much for so many.  
I look around at the untouched Victors Village, the flower beds, the grass, the houses. Not a hair lies out of line. Such a perfect façade to present us in, neat and orderly, precisely the way we should be. Yet neat and orderly are the furthest things anyone would use to describe any victor. Not that it matters.

I'm fixated on the garden beds in the distance, not truly seeing them, until I'm too quickly pulled back to the reality I so long to hide from.

"Katniss?" I hear my name softly, a cautious tone lingering in the air. I shake my head clear, face it in the direction of the voice and blink several times because surely my eyes are fooling me.

"Peeta" I manage to choke out completely bewildered.

"I can come back?" he questions, as innocent as ever.

"What are you doing here, Peeta?" I manage to get out. I'm torn between jumping into his arms and taking for the woods.

"My therapy is over. They finally let me leave the Capitol a couple of days ago." He tells me.

"When did you get back!" my breathing becomes faster and I can feel the cracks re-appearing. It's evident that Peeta doesn't fully trust himself around me.

"I got back yesterday. Katniss, maybe I should go? I'll come back later." he says hesitantly, turning to leave. I grab his hand before he leaves but the muscles in his hand tighten, as if it were an automatic reaction. Maybe it is now. But I don't think twice before letting it go and bringing my hand back to my own, like a wounded animal. He looks between his hand and mine, avoiding my eyes.

"I'm sorry. I... Didn't..." he trails off.

"Peeta, it's ok. Stay, please?" I ask him and I can feel tears welling up. I'm not 100% sure about this, but it's been so long, if he leaves now that I know he's back, and only a few metres away, I might break.

I can see Peeta debating with himself in his head, looking from me to the ground. Finally, somewhat reluctantly, he takes a seat next to me on the porch steps. He leaves an immense gap between the two of us, but to be honest all I want right now is the safety and warmth of his arms. I shake this thought from my head because I know this isn't possible. Not yet. I bring my knees up to my chest as a silence fills the air between us until I notice Peetas eyes on me, intent with concentration. He's studying every aspect of me, my face, my arms, my hair. I return his stare and find that he seems remotely unchanged since I saw him last, a little stronger perhaps.

"Are you staying here? In Twelve?" I ask, not really even sure if I want to hear his answer.

"Yeah" he says quietly. I let out a sigh of relief, unsure of how I would cope if he wasn't. He's here and he's staying and right now that's all that matters.

I look to him, only to find his eyes fixated and glass like, his hands clench into fists. He doesn't do anything; he only sits there breathing heavily. He's fighting them off again. He lets out a shaky breath and puts his head in his hands.

"Peeta" I say softly putting my hand gently on his shoulder. He doesn't try to shake if off he merely looks to me, disappointed in himself somehow.

"They're supposed to get easier to handle." he sighs raising an eyebrow, shrugging this fact off as if they'll never stop. The look on his face says that he thinks this is utter garbage. How does something like that get easier? It only leaves more and more scars, but not the kind that fade away with time. The kind that cut deeper than the eye can see and go so much further beyond physically scaring you. He and I should know this better than anyone. We sit for a few moments in silence. Not looking at each other but then again, not looking at anything else in particular.

"Where do we go from here, Katniss?" he asks looking me square in the eyes this time. His blue eyes filled with what seems like a lifetime of hurt. Too much for someone like him, what did he ever do to deserve things to turn out like this?

"I'm not sure I could cope without you again, Peeta. Not now." I whisper.

Peeta takes my hand in his and squeezes it tightly and in that moment I don't want him to leave, more so than before. He's been gone for so long and I've been so lonely without him. Sure, I've got Haymitch, but he's about as much company as dirt and has the conduct to match.  
Peeta slowly stands up and pulls me up with him. He senses my uneasiness and tries to comfort me,

"hey, I'll come back tomorrow, ok?" he says quietly.

I smile in attempt to keep the tears at bay, but I'm hopeless and I quite frankly don't care. A few stray tears roll town my cheek and Peeta wipes then gently away, smiles his sweet smile and turns to go to his home. I turn and slowly walk back into my own house, leaving the cool spring day behind me. What if things are never the same again? What if these hallucinations get the better of him? They couldn't possibly, he's back now and I can help him get through this. We can help each other.

Midday turns to evening and I settle in on the couch, not bothering to eat. I simply sit there, my whole body is numb and already I know tonight will be a restless one. I turn the lights out and brace myself for what I know is coming. The dark holds some of my biggest fears and the unknown's of this bring back the nightmares. So vivid and so alive without Peetas arms around me. However I welcome the sleep entering my body with open arms because I'm so tired. Of everything, and my only incentive to sleep is the prospect of tomorrow.

And then it happens, the flames eat her alive and I stand there helpless, screaming for her to run. To do something... anything. Slowly from the ashes of the destruction rises Snow with his snake like eyes as alive as ever. He comes closer to me wilding a white rose out in front of him, as it's the only weapon in his arsenal that will break me. I'm reaching for my bow only to find it's not there and now I'm screaming louder than before, hoping someone comes to my rescue. But no one does. Helplessly, I'm pulled awake by a voice.

"Katniss, it's ok, you're dreaming" he tells me softly.

My eyes snap open leaving my sister to float back to the horrible corners of my brain I can't bring myself the face. I find Peeta looking down at me, clutching my hand in his. I'm covered in sweat and my breathing is rapid, but he remains there, stroking my hair.

"It's ok, they can't hurt you now." He says soothingly and before I can even think about it, I sit up and wrap my arms around him tightly with absolutely no intentions of letting go. He puts his arms around me, too, without as much thought as before. I look to him with tears swimming down my face.

"How did you know?" I ask him quietly.

"I could hear you... You were screaming" he said slowly with the same tone of caution as before.

"You heard me from your house?" I question genuinely surprised. I know I scream, but I never considered to what degree before.

"Not quite. I was outside of my house. I don't sleep very well anymore, so I avoid it when I can. It brings everything back and I can barely get rid of it as it is." he says indifferently.

"Are you ok?" he asks after a minute or so, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I am now." I choke out between the tears and overwhelming sense of confusion that, for some reason, fills my body. He looks at me empathetically and smiles softly.

"I should probably go, please tell me if you need anything." he says beginning to stand up.

"I do. I do need something" I tell him quickly

"What is it Katniss?" he asks quietly

"You, Peeta, I need you. It's been so long and I don't think I can do this by myself anymore. Please. Will you stay with me?" I manage to get out before the tears take over.

I can see him doing it again. Arguing with himself in his head. About whether or not to trust me, then finally he takes a deep breath and comes and sits down next to me. This time he leaves only a small gap between us. I sigh in relief, because I know there's still a chance for us through all of this. I rest my head on his shoulder and he puts his arm around me, continuing to stroke my hair.

We don't try to sleep, because we both know what the night will hold, instead we talk about everything the other missed during the last few months. In the early hours of the morning when I begin to feel myself slipping under, surrendering to the sleep that longs to fill me, Peeta whispers,  
"I loved you? Real or not real?"

"Real" I tell him without hesitation allowing a small smile to creep onto my face, hidden from his view in the dark.

"I thought so, goodnight Katniss" he says quietly

"Goodnight Peeta."


	2. Chapter 2: Scars

**Hi! I really enjoy hearing your feedback, so feel free to let me know what you think! :) - Brooke**

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The hours begin to turn into days and we spend every possible minute together, rebuilding our broken foundations in an attempt to untangle the web that is our relationship. The nightmares become bearable in his company and he must feel the same way too, because of the nights we've spent together, he's slept soundly.

I come down the stairs one evening to answer a knock at the door. I open it to find Peeta standing there mid-knock with a horrible expression on his face.  
"You" he says "you've only been stringing me along the past few days, reeling me in so you can finish me off properly." he say his voice full of anger.

I step back, alarmed, and it isn't until I notice the distant look in his eyes that I understand what's going on. I don't know what to do, when ever this has happened before, gloved hands have pulled me out of the room before I could even take in the situation. But it's just he and I now. No sterile white gloves to protect me from hearing Peeta describe me for how I really am.

"Peeta, that's not true, you know that." I reason with him, the panic rising in my voice.

He corners me against the kitchen wall and places his hands on the wall behind me, blocking any possible escape route I might find.

"He told me you would try to lie to me." he says, disgusted. His fingers are pressed on the wall behind me and his eyes are concentrating on mine, the bright blue turned stormy.

"He's the one lying to you, ok. Peeta just calm down." I try, because right now he's really scaring me and through his eyes I can see the boy with the bread slipping away from my reach. I can almost hear Snow laughing from his grave.

His breathing becomes shallow as he struggles with the argument in his head. I notice his pupils rapidly becoming dilated. He takes a deep breath, backs away from the wall and looks to me, cowering in the corner, my fear undoubtedly written all over my face. Regret, anger, Frustration, and disappoint all register over his in a matter of seconds, but it isn't until he finally loses his debate that he takes one last look at me and swiftly leaves.

I do my best to collect myself as I chase after him. He's following the path to the town square when I catch him, breathless.

"Peeta, stop!" I plead

He keeps waking, this time a little faster, so I run in front of him and put my hand on his chest to stop him. His eyes flash to mine, and then back to the ground.

"You didn't know what you were doing! You can't control this!" I say with a desperate tone.

"Yeah, I can't control it! I've been back for four days, Katniss, and I've already tried to hurt you." he says as if he's disgusted in himself.

"Exactly Peeta, you've been back for four days, you can't expect it to just disappear instantaneously." I plead.

"I know I can't, and that's why I should leave. I could have really hurt you then." he says.

"Nothing happened!" I tell him, trying to keep my voice from rising.

"But what about next time, huh? Something could happen then. You'll be better off without me. That's why I should go someplace else, where I can't hurt anyone I care about. No one needs me here anyways." he say looking right in my eyes. I feel my face go numb and emotionless.

"I do. I need you." I tell him, the cracks in my voice becoming increasingly evident by the second. I look into his eyes, not caring about the tears trickling down my face. I can't lose Peeta. Not now.

"You told me the same thing last year? Real or not real?" he asks quietly.

"Real" I tell him, the last ounce of desperation breaking through.

"Katniss, I'll never forgive myself if I hurt you." he says quietly

"You'll hurt me so far beyond repair if you leave. I've already lost you too many times before. After the Quell, I tried to convince myself to accept the fact that you were dead. I told myself it was better off that way because at least you weren't hurting, but I was. And I can't lose you again, Peeta." I choke out through the barriers of guilt and sadness and tears.

He takes my hand tightly in each if his own and looks right into my eyes as if he's searching for an answer.  
"I'm sorry I've put you through so much pain already." he says quietly.

I nod my head because at this point I down think I can conjure up words without breaking down entirely. A minute passes after what feels like an eternity.

"Don't go, please." I whisper.

"I won't." he tells me taking me in his arms.

Peeta walks me back to the Victors villages without letting go of my hand, and still managing to apologize several times along the way. We reach my house and as I head inside, Peeta stops.

"Could you just give me a minute?" he asks. Surely he must be shaken by this and his strong facade can't hold up forever. All I want to do is stay in the comfort and security of each other's arms, but because I know he must be hurting, I nod my head, gently smile and head inside, thankful he's still here.

I decide to turn the kettle on while Peetas outside in the hope that a fresh cup of tea may ease him mind... Somehow. He walks inside after five or so minutes and comes into the kitchen. Without giving it a second thought he takes my hand and pulls me into his arms, kissing me gently on my forehead. I rest my head in his chest and feel a wave of emotion flow through me. We hold each if tighter than ever, worried the other might be pulled away at any moment.

"I'm so sorry, Katniss." he whispers placing a long kiss on my forehead.

"I know." I say, the sound muffled though his shirt.

We stay like this for a few minutes until the kettle boils, bringing us back to reality. He insists on finishing the tea and we sit on the lounge chair in front of the fire. All I can think about is his lips on my skin. It's been so long that I've felt his kisses that it almost seems surreal. I can't help my smile as I watch him make the tea, knowing there's a possibility of fixing everything

Neither of us talks for quite some time and it isn't until Peeta comes back from getting more tea, his sleeves rolled up, that I notice something I hadn't before. I don't ask him straight up, I merely take his hand and trace around the shape gently with my finger. It's located just under the crook of his elbow and is circular in shape. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Peeta watching me stare at the odd mark on his arm.

"What is it?" I ask quietly, curiosity getting the better of me.

"It's, Uhh, where they injected the venom." he says quietly, taking a deep breath. I study the scar further and realize how deep it seems to be. A perfectly round circle etched in Peetas arm.

"Oh. It seems like an odd place to do that." I say, more to myself than to him. This however is true, this section of his arm shows no significant veins, I begin to question the Capitols intentions.

"I guess they did too." he says.

I look to him, confused as to what he means until he registers the look on my face, answering my unasked question. He places his mug on the table next to mine and gently pulls up the side of his shirt. Dotted across the side of his back and ribcage are several other marks identical to this one. I bring my hand up to my mouth in order to stop the noise escaping it. Suddenly the thought of Peeta helpless in the Capitol makes me want to vomit more than it initially did. I circle one of the scars on his back and find it to be not as deep as the others.

"Doctors said those ones should fade" he shrugs

"But why so many? And why in those places?" I ask

"I don't know. People would have formed their own speculations as to what they were doing to us I suppose. But I guess if they ever let us go, they wouldn't want the scars to be too obvious to anyone. So they put them in the most inconspicuous places possible. We were only disposable to them, right?" he says with a hollow tone to his voice.

For a moment I take in what he says and realize he's right. Sure everyone would have their own opinions, but why would the Capitol run the risk of tarnishing their image. I realize that what I'm asking Peeta may bring back so many unpleasant memories, but curiosity takes full control as I ask him the next question.

"What was it like? What they did to you" I say quietly. Peeta bites his lip and takes a moment to pick his words in order to form an explanation.

"I'm not really sure if I understand it myself, even now. But from what I understand, it's sort of like Haymitch drinking. He drinks to suppress bad memories so that when he thinks of them, all is remembers is... Not really remember anything, apart from a big blur."  
"So for me they'd show me something - a photo, footage from the games - but whatever it was it nearly always had you in it. And then they'd use the venom so all I could relate with those things was pain. And soon enough all I could relate with you was pain. They distorted aspects of my memory, so that you became the enemy, rather than them. That's why I go all mutts sometimes. At least that's how I see It." he says so quietly you could hear a pin drop. And it's not until now I realize I'm paying him my complete undivided attention. How could I not? I have both hands latched onto his own and my eyes are fixated on his. Peeta shudders and the hairs on his arms stand on end, and the curiosity in me subsides because I know he must be in pain from talking about this.

'_I can barely get rid of it as it is.' _His words from the other night bounce around my head.

"I'm sorry ... For asking you all of that." I say

"No, it's ok; they said it might help to talk about it. But you deserve to know Katniss." he tells me.  
Peeta puts his arm around me and I keep his hand held in mine. We spend the rest of the night talking, more afraid than ever what uncertainties the night will surely bring. However, I fall asleep a few hours later, wrapped in the warmth and security of his arms.


	3. Chapter 3: Let It Rain

**This chapter's really short so, sorry about that, but i hope you've liked the passed few. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Fluffy, just saying.**

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Spring begins to turn into summer and Peeta becomes less hesitant about being out in public more often. How strange it must be to see us, star crossed lovers, back home where we should be despite all the pain and heartache we've both caused and fallen victim to. Nonetheless it gets easier as people become more acceptant of Twelves future. A medicinal factory is in the cards for us, out with the coal and in with the new, I guess. Many welcome the change because, quite frankly, the population loss in our hands isn't nearly enough to sufficiently run the mines. This is perfectly fine with the people returning to 12, most of whom had sought refuge in 13. Being huddle up underground for so long in 13 has made most of the people who worked in the mines before even more sceptical to return. What with the bombings and mourning those they'd lost, most of them would be perfectly happy with spending the rest of their lives above ground. It's seen as a way to get Twelve on the map for good things, things that will affect others lives rather than put them at risk.

The warm summer's night lighten Peetas mood even more than usual as he insist on going for a walk around town. We walk hand in hand, in favour of the growing darkness so as to avoid the scrutiny and odd looks often thrown our way. Peeta talks for quite some time, pointing out how he remembers aspects of this and that. He hasn't had a hallucination quite as severe as the last for a good two weeks now which is promising. Despite this, they haven't gone away fully considering the intensity of his nightmares seems to increase every now and then. After waking for half an hour we both decide to head home, so we make our way back to the victors village.

"It's a beautiful night." Peeta smiles as the view of the town grows smaller.

"It is." I tell him, smiling back.

"Seems a shame to waste it." he says as he let's go of my hand and stands in front of me. I look to him confused. How could we have possibly wasted it?

"May I have this dance, Miss Everdeen?" he asks holding his hand out, a cheeky grin playing on his lips. At this I can't help but laugh and smile, because it's so spontaneous and so like the old Peeta.

I grin and take his hand as he pulls me in closer, putting his arm around my waist. He begins to move slowly, but as he does so, I realise that I haven't a clue how to dance like this. Effie had only ever taught us dances that were popular in the Capitol, and apart from that I only know traditional folk dances taught in school.

"But you should probably know, I haven't got a clue how to dance like this" I confess biting my lip. Almost instantly Peeta gently pulls me up, placing my feet on top of his own.

"There, now you don't need to." he smiles sweetly. I laugh and rest my head on his chest where I can hear his heartbeat, so steady and strong. We stay like this for a few minutes until I decide I want to know how to dance like this, and when else am I going to learn?

"Teach me?" I ask Peeta

He takes my hand, smiles and says "OK, follow my lead."

I stare down at his feet moving so swiftly, so effortlessly, that I'm unsure I'd ever fully grasp this. I feel my brow frown in concentration as I fumble the steps he makes look so simple.

"Hey, eyes on me." he says quietly putting a finger under my chin and lifting my head to meet his gaze. I do my best focus on his eyes rather than the steps and he gently laughs every time I miss or fumble a step. It takes all my concentration not to lose myself in his bright blue eyes, standing out now, even in the dark. I feel a small drop of water on my nose, and Peeta must too because we both look up at the sky. As if to add to the moment a light drizzle of rain begins to fall from the sky, and were both completely bewildered because it's the middle of summer and rain is a rare sight here. We stay outside until the rain gets heavier, forcing us in, and we make it inside just as the rain begins bucketing down.

"I think it's raining" Peeta laughs lightly

I roll my eyes in reply to his sarcasm but he catches my hand and pulls me into his arms. We kiss, for quite some time too, holding each other closer with every one, worried it might be the last. Despite the rain he feels warm and his kisses are like never before. We've both waited so long to regain this trust that now the opportunities' here we don't want to let it go so easily.

A few minutes pass and we finally let each other go. Peeta smiles and runs a hand through his wet hair. Together we collapse in a heap on the living room floor laughing more than we have in a long time. We start a small fire and sit on a blanket in front of it, regaining the feeling throughout our bodies.

"I haven't had that much fun in a long time" I tell him with a sigh

"I love you, Katniss." he Peeta says

"I love you, too" I tell him immediately because I know this is true and couldn't possibly deny it.

"Real?" he asks, the smiling on his face growing with anticipation.

"Real." I tell him with a kiss.


	4. Chapter 4: The List

**Hi, sorry, it's be a little longer than usual since i've posted, been a bit busy, but nonetheless, here's chapter 4. Let me know what you think! **

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The next night we found ourselves sitting together on the couch as we so often did, one hand wrapped around a mug of warm milk, the others interlaced together. We spend our time still filling in details for the other, what happened on the hovercraft after the Quell, how Peeta was first treated in the Capitol. Together we slowly manage to get through it, shedding tears as we remember those we've lost, but trying not to play the "what if" game, because we've both found that that causes more damage than it clears up. Our questions eventually know no boundaries, and we open up to each other and voices even our gravest thoughts.

"How did you cope in Thirteen?" Peeta asks curiously, placing his mug on the table and turning to face me.

I have to think for a moment, how did I cope in Thirteen? Well the simple answer to that is, I didn't. I spent most of my time blatantly disregarding duties, choosing to follow my timetable only when it suited me, and aside from that I spent the rest of my stay there in hospital, in a happy drug-induced dreamland. I coped really well. I look to Peeta and find his eyes searching my face for an answer. I let a small smile play on my lips and begin to explain to him.

"I didn't." I shrug "I spent my time hiding in closets and store rooms, trying to find a way around that last night in the arena. I spent half the time in hospital knocking myself out so I didn't have to come to terms with what being their Mockingjay really meant. Absolutely loathing Coin and everything her and her precious district stood for. Growing to resent Gale and Haymitch and Plutarch. And you. For not being there to make it all better." I say partially avoiding his eye contact and feeling somewhat guilty about that last part. How selfish could I have been? Peeta was dead for all we knew and all I wanted was for him to be there with me, making light of the mess I've made. Spinning that magical web of words that can so effortlessly swayed a crowd. Perhaps that's not selfish, maybe only hearth broken, but in some sick way I managed to twist the two together making them unrecognizable and somewhat despicable.

Peeta gently tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and caress' my face. I give him a weak smile and sigh. Times like these make the "what If" fame so hard to steer clear of.

"What about you? What did you do before they found out you didn't know anything? Did you know what they were going to do?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper.

"At first you were all I thought about. Whether or not you were safe, I heard so many cannons go off, but then you were calling my name and the arena blew out. All I remember is waking up in the Capitol. I thought you were dead, surely you were dead. Surely I was dead. And then I started to remember little things about you, but that just made it hurt more. Those things, my favourite things about you, I ran through them in my head every hour, like trying to piece together a puzzle. Then they started with the venom and suddenly the pieces didn't fit right anymore." he says slowly, his voice turning into a whisper. Curiosity gets the better of me as I begin to stare at our hands, his thumb tracing patterns down my own.

"What kinds of things?" I ask.

He smiles and his bright blue eyes light up as he begins to speak, as if he's been dying for someone to ask him this, like he's been holding it in for his whole life. But he probably has, and the detail in which he describes things makes me wonder why I questioned this.

"Where to start." he laughs lightly.

"The day you picked that dandelion. The day you found me in the arena. The first time you kissed me. The day you yelled at Effie on the train. The way you'll do anything for your family. That small smile you do when you catch my gaze. "he pauses.

His smile widens, yet his eyes are full of concentration so as to not miss any detail.

"And then there's you. Little bits of you that crept into my mind those days. The unbelievable shade of gray in your eyes, one that I didn't even know existed before I saw you. Your hair. The sound of your breathing when you slept on the train. The way your hands fit perfectly into mine. Your smile. Your laugh, both of which I don't get to witness nearly enough. How stubborn you are. Your lips on mine. Your arms around me, I didn't know someone so small could bring such warmth and security. But it was just you, Katniss, and how much I love you." Peeta says softly not taking his eyes away from me.

I feel my lips start to quiver and a stray tear falls down my cheek. He gently wipes it away with his thumb and smiles at me.

"Why are you crying?" he asks, his eyebrows dipped in concentration.

"I love you" I manage to choke out and I pull him closer to me, not daring to let go. I feel his arms around me, so strong and protective. I rest my head on his shoulder and he buries his head in my hair.

"I love you, too" he whispers. His gentle strokes of my hair make my cry even more and to be honest I don't know why I could possibly be crying. Perhaps through all the bad, good things can come.

I continue to sob into Peetas shirt and he doesn't object he simply whispers things to me gently, still stroking my hair. After a little while I catch my breath, stop the tears and dry my eyes.

"I'm sorry." I say wiping my eyes

"Don't be, it's ok." he smiles pulling me in closer to him. I pull my knees up wrapped my arms around them as he encircles me with his.

In my head I begin to devise a list of my own. Of every aspect of Peeta that's ever made me smile. I decide to tell him, not now though, firstly because the list is not nearly as impressive as his own yet and secondly because I'd probably start hysterically crying again.

Peeta begins describing colours to me in a soothing voice. Colours of the rainbow, of flowers, the different shades of blue that consume the sky. Eventually I begin to feel my eyelids droop and a yawn escapes me.

"Come on." Peeta says, slowly standing not to wake me too much "Let's get you to bed."

He holds out a hand to me and I take it, only to find that it's too much of an effort to get up, my sleepy facade is weighing me down. My eyes are closed and I can feel myself slipping under, but I try, as long as possible to fight it. Peeta laughs softly and effortlessly scopes me up in his arms, carrying me upstairs. He tucks me in, kisses my forehead and turns to leave

"Goodnight Katniss." I catch his hand before he goes. He must be crazy if he thinks I'm going to let him leave now.

"Peeta?" I say groggily

"Mmm?"

"Stay with me?"

"Always" he says sitting down on the bed next to me. I squeeze his hand in my own, not sure if he knows what I mean.

"No Peeta, I mean really stay with me." I say drowsily.

"Katniss..." he begins to object.

"Please" I get out through the barrier is sleep pulling me under, the desperation breaking through. He thinks for a moment, weighing up my plead, then he comes to a conclusion.

"Ok Katniss" he says quietly climbing in next to me. I smile toward him, bury my head in his chest and fall asleep with him stroking my hair.


	5. Chapter 5: Peeta's Idea

**Hi! I'm sorry, it's been a while and this chapter's pretty short, but believe me when I say I've got heaps of ideas flying around my head, it's just a matter of finding the time between school and work to get them down! Also one week until The Hunger Games DVD! But in other news, who's stoked about the Soundwave line up? I know I am! I also know that I'm rambling now, so read and review and I'll shut up now. - Brooke**

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The weeks continue to pass and we grow closer together rebuilding what once was. And what undoubtedly will be once again. We both spend time with Haymitch occasionally, thought mostly our days are spent together. Except for the odd day, like today, when Peeta insists I go hunting.

I spend a few minutes cleaning a rabbit from earlier, only to find Peeta bounce through the front door. His face wears a smile that suggests he has something to say but won't dare tell me until I ask.

"Nice walk?" I ask giving him a smile.

"Very" he says happily.

I continue cleaning the rabbit for a moment, curious to see how long he can keep in whatever it is he wants to tell me. Peeta keeps his eyes on me, following me across the room. Eventually, the feeling of him following me around the room becomes odd, and I finally give in.

"Ok, are you going to tell me? Or are you going to make me guess?" I laugh

He lets out a sigh of relief "Actually I'd quite like to see you guess" he shrugs

"Haymitch has stopped drinking?" I question. This just makes him laugh more

"Something realistic, Katniss" he smiles

"You learnt to fly?" I say. He only smiles at me, pressing his lips tightly together to avoid spilling his secret before he deems it fit.

"Ok, just tell me!" I squirm. I've never been one for surprises. Peeta grabs my waist with one arm and my hand with the other, pulls me over to the couch and sits me down. He sits on the coffee table in front of me and places his elbows on his knees, resting his chin on his finger tips. He takes a deep breath and then says, so fast that I can barely make out his words;

"I want to re-open the bakery"

"You want to what?" I ask somewhat dumbfounded.

"I want to re open the bakery. I mean, I've got more than enough money to get it up and running and I could even hire someone to help me out, and I know that I could manage and-" I cut him ok before he says another word. I've heard all I need to. How didn't we think of this before?

"Ok!" I tell him

"Ok?!" Peeta repeats as if he hasn't heard me correctly, or at the very least, surprised at my reaction.

"Ok!" I half squeal, half laugh as he pulls me up into his arms.

He's almost giddy with excitement and I, quite frankly, can't contain my own. I rest my head on his chest still laughing lightly. We stay like this for a few moments and it's almost as though Peeta has to remind himself not to run around the house.

"I can't believe I'm actually going to do this" he sighs, a slightly shaky aspect in his voice.

"I couldn't think of anyone who could possibly do a better job." I say sincerely. He smiles in return, but there's a look on his face that says he's holding something else back. It takes a moment to click;

"You father would be so proud of you, Peeta." I tell him softly, running my hand through his hair. He smiles again and holds me tighter in his arms.

"You think?" he asks, biting his lip.

"I know."


	6. Chapter 6: Dinner With Haymitch

**Hi guys! I just want to quickly say a big thankyou for the follows and reviews, it means alot and it's nice to see people are enjoying the story! So, here's chapter 6, let me know what you think! - Brooke**

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"Will you pass the bread, sweetheart?" Haymitch smirks. I roll my eyes and hand him the basket of mini bread loads Peeta had made earlier. It was Peetas idea to invite Haymitch over for dinner.

"C'mon Katniss he's lonely, just a few hours? Beside, I'd like to see him, it's been a while." he asks sweetly. I had only stared at him confused as to why he'd willingly spend a few hours with Haymitch. But he looks at me with his beautiful blue eyes and I almost forget what I'm talking about.

Reluctantly I finally give in as Peeta pulls me into his arms. "Thank you" he says resting his chin on the top of my head.

So here we are having dinner with Haymitch at Peeta request. Apparently he didn't need to be asked twice. Yet to be honest I'm not having as bad of a time as I thought I would. Peeta and Haymitch have been talking for most of the night and I merely just have to sit there and look interested. This is more for Peeta benefit and he's done so much for me just by being here. After we eat I insist helping Peeta clean up, Haymitch, however, just sits there making no attempt to lift a finger.

"Don't strain yourself" I tell him raising an eyebrow. The smile on his face merely widens as he rises his glass to me

"Wasn't planning to" he smirks.

Peeta laughs and leans in to me "Real or not real. He fell of the stage?" he asks softly, more for my ears than Haymitch.

It takes me a moment to register what Peetas talking about, and then it hits me - the Reaping.

"Real" I laugh

Peeta raises his voice a little this time, ensuring Haymitch can hear this time.

"He punched me on the train?." Peeta asks

"Real "I say

"Yeah yeah, ok kid, I get it. But you'd both be dead if it weren't for me" he says smugly.

"Hate to admit it but that's true too." I say laughing a little. Peeta continues to ask more questions to help define his memory. Haymitch and I both help answer his questions, one stepping in when the other can't answer. Eventually the liquor goes to Haymitch head, as if it could do more damage than it already has.

"Ok this game is getting tedious." Haymitch sighs

"Shut up Haymitch, it's not a game, it helps him." I say not hiding the hostility in my voice.

"It's ok, Katniss" Peeta says, taking my hand in his own.

"No! No it's not ok, if he's going to take this as a joke he can leave." I say and I can feel Peeta squeezing my hand because he knows my tolerance with Haymitch can only last so long.

"Ok, I'll see you all later then" Haymitch says half stumbling out the door. Peeta half smiles-half laughs as he raises his eyes brows at me. He puts his arms around my waist.

"You didn't need to kick him out, Y'know?" Peeta says.

"Yeah, well, he didn't need to act like that." I snap back. But as soon as I do I feel horrible because it's not him I'm angry at, it's Haymitch. And after all that's happened he's dismissing this as 'tedious'. We sit down on the lounge chair and Peetas arm takes its usual place around me.

"It's ok; just forget about it, he was drunk anyhow." Peeta laugh. I sigh in defeat, for now at least. Peeta looks into my eyes as he tucks a lose strand of hair behind my ear. I close my eyes because, for once, I'm actually physically tired. The longing for sleep that so often escapes me now yearns to fill me. Still, I do my best to fight it, to stay awake with Peeta, until he notices my struggle;  
"Go to sleep, Katniss. I love you." he whispers softly

"You too" I mumble into his shirt as I bury my head in his shoulder. Nighttimes sees a previously acknowledged yet unspoken agreement between Peeta and I. We always tend to sleep on the couch, whether it's the fact that Peeta doesn't trust himself, I don't know. As long as he's here I feel safe.

Morning brings the aroma of fresh bread through the house when I wake to find Peeta in the kitchen, pulling a tray of bread out of the oven. My smile widens because it's odd seeing him baking again. He notices me staring at him and smiles back, wiping his flour covered hands on his apron.

"Good morning" he says with a smile

"Morning" I say entering the kitchen.

"What's the bread for?" I ask curiously. Peeta takes a moment to reply as if he's deciding whether or not to tell me.

"Haymitch" he says biting his lip, almost as if to suppress a smile. My smile turns to a frown as I raise my eyebrows at him.

"He didn't mean any of it." he says in a matter-of-fact type of way, coming to Haymitch's defence once again.

"Doesn't mean he should have said any of that." I say flatly.

"Oh well. This is nearly done; we can take it to him in a couple of minutes." Peeta says as he continues to work. Then something he said catches my attention.

"Wait, we?"

"You're coming" he smiles

"No. No I'm not; go by yourself, he lives three seconds away." I say quickly

"Exactly, where's the harm?" he grins knowing I'm fighting a dying battle. He tosses the bread into a bag and slings it over his shoulder.

"I'm not moving" I tell him firmly. He grins and takes a step closer to me. And out of nowhere he wraps his arm around my waist and lifts my off the ground.

"You won't have to." he laughs

"Peeta Mellark! Put me down right now!" I yell trashing my arms around. Admittedly I wonder how much I must resemble a small child chucking a tantrum, but then again, isn't that exactly what I'm doing?

"Why so you can leave? Don't think so" Peeta says with a smile as he kicks the front door closed. We walk across the village to Haymitchs house while I do my best to make my frustration known. But that only makes him laugh at me more. The sound of his laughter in the area around us brings a smile to my face and I can't help but laugh with him.

"I'm glad you think this is funny" I tell him.

"It is" he says, and although I can't see his face, it's evident he's smirking.

"Only to you!" I retort

"You're so stubborn" he laughs

"I hate you" I say lightly with a sigh.

"No, you don't" he tells me without thinking twice. But he's right. I couldn't possible hate him; he's the only thing that brings me joy.

He sets me down as we reach Haymitch's front door and places his hands on my shoulders;

"Now, be nice, Katniss." he smiles, the smug look on his face still creeping through.

I sigh and we walk through the front door without bothering to knock. Because we both know he wouldn't answer anyhow. Immediately were hit with the smell of unwashed clothes and liquor, and it's so strong I almost have to cover my nose. How could someone possible live like this?

"Morning!" Peeta says joyfully setting the bag down on the counter. Of course, Haymitch has been asleep on the couch, a bottle of liquor just out of his reach on the floor. He looks up at us with an unpleasant look on his face.

"What do you two want?" he asks with a huff.

"Katniss has something to say" Peeta announces. I turn and look at him, my eyebrows raised. I frown as he puts his hands on my shoulders and spins me around to face Haymitch, sprawled across the couch.

"Sorry for kicking you out." I mumble under my breath. Peeta raises his eyebrows at me and Haymitch turn his ear in my direction. It's bad enough that Peetas making me do this in the first place, but now they both appear to find it funny.

"Sorry for kicking you out." I repeat quickly, this time a little louder. I turn to Peeta,"happy?" I ask

"Always" he smiles

"Don't worry about it Sweetheart, I was out of line." Haymitch says sitting up.

"Sit down." he tells us, nodding his head toward the couch opposite him. Peeta shoots me an odd look, resembling the one on my face. Haymitch has rarely voluntarily offered us a seat before. But, we both follow his orders and do as he says.

"Look, I'll make this quick. I'm sorry about last night, I wasn't thinking right. It's a bit of a shock for me seeing Peeta back as well. I'll sober up enough to help him, ok?" Haymitch tells us. This comes as a shock to the both of us, as we look to each other bewildered.

"I care about him too, I care about both of you." he says after a moment. His voice comes across so sincere, something he rarely let's slip. But I know he's telling the truth, he does care about us. Because, let's face it, we'd probably both be dead without him. These past few years I'd always thought Haymitch saw the two of us as some sort of burden. It's true, we were, but that aside, he does really care for us.

"Thank you, Haymitch" I say quietly, still fully taking in what he said. Peeta squeezes my hand and smiles at me.

"Don't mention it. Now, go away and let me sleep." he says. We both immediately do as were told, not wanting to push Haymitch limits too far.

"He's got a funny way of caring about us." Peeta laughs and then puts his hands on my shoulders just as he had before;

"I'm proud of you" he tells me softly. He puts his arm around me as we walk back home.


	7. Chapter 7: An Unexpected Visitor

**Hey guys! I'm too impatient to try and keep a consistent amount of days between posting chapters, so here's chapter 7! Please R&R, I really love hearing what you think! And I just want to say heaps for everyone who's read/reviewed/followed/favourited, it means alot! I'm sort of thinking about maybe doing a one-shot from Peetas pov whilst he's in the Capitol during Mockingjay, not too sure though?. - Brooke**

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A few weeks pass and Peeta spends most days planning the bakery. Having something to focus his attention to has given him a whole new day-to-day attitude, he's happy, so happy. This mood is contagious, I've found. Haymitch agreed with Peetas plan almost as quickly as I did, and we both offered to help him as much as we could. His excitement is uncontainable; especially when he tells us the workers building the bakery approved his plan. It only seems fitting to find something to occupy myself with too, so I occasionally venture into town, or into the woods.

I walk inside after a long day, pulling off my boots and jacket by the door;

"Peeta, I looked everywhere but couldn't find what it was that you were after, so you'll have to - what is he doing here?" I ask cautiously, cutting off my sentence. I'm shocked to find him there.

Gale, the last person I expect to find in my house, stands with his arms crossed over his chest. He looks somewhat awkward in Peeta presence, considering the most they've ever done outwardly is tolerated each other, for my own sake. He looks the same as before, but the stubble growing across his chin and neck makes him looks a few years old than he is.

"Katniss, I just want to talk" he says defensively.

I look between Peeta and Gale and find myself at the same crossroads I had so many times before. I don't want to talk to Gale. I can't deny the fact that I miss his company while hunting, we moved together, thought together. We were one. But of late, finding a common harmonious ground would take some time.

"Peeta, a word" I demand, rather than ask, pulling him down the hall.

"What the hell is he doing here?" I ask him angrily.

"Katniss, like he said, he just wants to talk to you." he says calmly, which makes me wonder how long Gale has been here for, how long Peeta has had to anticipate my reaction and prepare his counter-offense. I rub my eyes in an attempt to clear my head, _what am I going to do?_ Peeta gently takes my hands and pulls them to my side.

"I think you should at least hear him out. Give yourself some peace of mind." he reasons with me.

"You're defending him!? I don't need piece of mind! I need him gone" I tell him.

"Ok, peace of mind or not, he's not going anywhere for a while, it's his little sisters birthday next week. That's why he's here." He tells me calmly

"Oh, I see you two had a nice little catch up while I was out, then." I shoot at him

"Katniss please, just talk to him. I'll be at work if you need me." he says kissing me on the cheek, walking down the hall and closing the front door behind him.

Reluctantly I know he's right and in hindsight I should have seen this coming, he was bound to visit sooner or later. But I'd always thought it'd be later. I walk back to the kitchen to find Gale leaning against the counter with his eyes focused on the floor. He shoots his gaze up at me, however, when I walk in.

"I'll go if you want, I just want to talk to you." he pleads, holding his hands in the air, as if he were surrendering.

"Ok" I say quietly

"Can we walk?" he questions. I nod and follow him out the front door and town the path to town. _At least I'll have witness' this way_ I think to myself as the town centre comes into view. We make idle chit chat about things neither of us care about, but it isn't until we reach the woods that the real stuff begins to seep through. We walk in silence for a few minutes as we travel further into the woods and then Gale begins to speak again.

"Katniss, you know if I had have known, I'd have stopped those bombs. It shouldn't have crossed my mind" he says quietly.

"That doesn't change anything." I tell him, not bothering to hide both the hostile edge in my voice and the look on my face.

"Maybe not, but you should at least know how I feel about this. I'd do anything, give anything to change it." he says

"But you can't, Gale, she's gone!" I'm yelling now, fighting back the tears "Put yourself in my position, you'd hate me too!"

"So you hate me now?" he asks his voice rising too.

"I don't know, maybe, but of late you haven't been helping your case!"

"That's a bit one sided Katniss! You never answered my calls or my letters, what was I supposed to do?!" he yells

"And what did you want me to say? Huh? _'Hi I forgive you for being the reason my little sister's dead, we can go back to being best friends now_'" I yell as the tears begin to break through, my voice breaking on the last few words.

"Maybe we can't go back to what we were. Maybe we should have never have meet and that way she could have died from starvation and you could be the one with the weight of her death on your shoulders for the whole world to see. Then it could have been your responsibility, your fault" he yells in a cruel way. And then the look in his face changes as he realizes what he's said.

But the look on my own shouts at him every profanity in my arsenal. _If looks could kill_. He tries to grab my arm before I turn away from him, but I shake it off.

"Katniss, I didn't mean that!" he shouts after me as I run off.

I don't know how far we went into the woods but it takes a good 15 to reach where the fence once was, but I don't stop running, fuelled by his words ringing in my head. I keep running through the Seam, the town square, I'm nearly home before Peeta tries to stop me.

"Katniss! Wait!" I hear Peeta call after me as I run past him. But I still don't stop. Not until I reach my house, slam the door behind me, slide down one of the walls in the hallway and ball up in a wreck. I burry my head in my hands in an attempt to block out Gales words. It's useless and I feel as helpless as I did in the Jabberjay section of the arena. Peeta comes in a few minutes later, his prosthetic leg slowing him considerably. Wordlessly he comes and sits next to me, pulls me on his lap and puts his arms around me.

He strokes my hair as I try to make sense of what had happened. We were both angry, but surely that's not an excuse. I hide my head on Peetas chest and take in the smells of cinnamon and fresh bread. I can't stop myself from crying and soon enough I start shaking. This only makes his hold me tighter, telling me that "it'll be ok" but this time I'm not so sure it will be.

After a while he coaxes me up, and wraps a blanket around my arms as he sits me down on the couch. He manages to get me to eat a few cheese buns, but in all honesty, I just want to cry. I love Gale, I know that. Not in the same way that I love Peeta, but love none the less. I feel guilty about admitting to myself that I really do miss him. District 2 is so far away and he doesn't seem right there, in my mind at least. I guess I never really considered the two of us growing up and leading separate lives. But, right now, I'm so impossibly angry at him, about everything that happened that day in the Capitol, all those un-resolved fights in thirteen, and today. Part of me wants to forgive him, but then, part of me wants to keep yelling at him. He and I both know he crossed a line today, and it hurt me. This time I'm not sure if we can bounce back from this one.

Peeta asks if I'm hungry, and when I tell him no, he comes and sits with me. I rest my head on his lap and he starts stroking my hair. Perhaps he knows it calms me. He knows I don't want to talk about it, so rather than ask, he tells me about his day, about how the bakery is coming along. I can feel my eyes begin to droop and he must see this because he stops talking, and we just sit there in silence. We both must fall asleep because when I'm stirred by a knock on the door, its morning.

"Go back to sleep, I'll get it." Peeta tells me quietly as he gently gets up off the chair. I hear him yawn and open the door.

"Hi." I hear Gales voice, a guilty twist knotted into it.

"Uh, hey." Peeta says.

"Is Katniss here?" Gales asks

"She's asleep." Peeta tells him. I guess this isn't a lie, he doesn't know I'm not.

Gales sighs and I hear a ruffling of his jacket as he pulls something out, paper maybe.

"Could you make sure she gets this? And actually reads it." Gales ask, handing Peeta whatever he just pulled from his jacket.

This almost makes Peeta laugh, knowing how stubborn I am. "Of course." Peeta tells him

"Thanks." Gales says, and must leave because Peeta closes the door a moment later.

I decided to pretend to sleep a little while longer until curiosity fills me and I can't help but wonder what Gale wants. Peeta insist I eat, watching me swallow every mouthful of eggs and every last drop of juice. Yet it isn't until I've finished that he brings up this morning.

"Gale came over to see you this morning" he says watching my every move.

"I know" I say quietly.

"Then I guess you know he asked me to give you this?" he says handing me a crumbled up piece of paper.

I stare at it in my hand for a moment deciding whether or not to read it or toss it into the bin. I unfold the paper, smooth it out and attempt to make out Gales messy writing, something that's never been his strong suit.

"Katniss, I know you don't want to talk to me and I don't blame you, I was out if line. Its Posy's birthday on Tuesday and I know she'd love you to be there. Please do it for her, not me. Peetas welcome too, if he wants to come. I'm so sorry catnip. - Gale."

I sigh because the fact that he making such an attempt to fix this makes me aggravated. I take in a deep shaky breath and consider what he has to say. Peeta senses my uneasiness and is by my side in a flash.

"What happened yesterday, Katniss?" he questions gently

"We fought. It was pretty bad" I sigh reluctantly

"There's something more, isn't there?" he asks

"We just fought ... About ..." I can't say her name he knows that. He pulls me protectively into his arms

"I'm sorry" he whispers. I hand him the note which he looks at sceptically before actually reading, like he feels as if he's breaching my privacy.

"You should go." he says

"I don't know if I can Peeta." I sigh.

"Katniss, what if he leaves and doesn't come back? He's your best friend, you need to try." He tells me softly.

"Will you come with me, then?" I ask

"If you'd like me to." He says

I nod. "I'll need someone to keep me from ripping his head off."


	8. Chapter 8: The Birthday Party

**Hey guys! It took a little longer to post this chapter than usual, I was pretty sick last week, but here it is anyhow! Also, it was kind of overwhelming to find about 15-20 emails telling me people had favourite the story/me, followed the story/me and reviewed, it really means alot, so thankyou! R&R!**

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Tuesday comes far too quickly for my liking, but by the time we reach the Hawthorne's front door there's no going back. Peeta holds my hand tightly as we knock on the door. Moments later it's opened, and Gale stands there looking between us. He and Peeta greet each other and shake hands while I do my best to conjure up a forced, half hearted smile. _What am I doing here?_ I think to myself. It may only be a few hours and surely two people can stay civil n the same room for such a short amount of time. Gale feels like a stranger to me and I feel like a stranger in his house. This isn't right, it shouldn't be this way. But it is and I don't know what to do about it.

"Katniss!" Posy yells running toward me and wrapping her arms around my legs. I bend down to give her a proper hug and hand her the present Peeta and I brought her, a small knitted doll. She eagerly opens it and her mouth drops in awe.

"Do you remember Peeta, Posy? He helped me pick your present, he said it look just as pretty as you" I tell her smiling. She looks up at him and some form of recognition flashes across her face and I can't help but consider what Peeta she remembers. She wraps her arms around Peetas legs, just as she had mine.

"Thank you, Peeta" she says

"You're welcome posy" he tells her with a laugh. Eagerly she whisks him away to show him the cake she got for her birthday. I take this time to greet Hazelle, who, quite frankly, hasn't changed much at all during the last year.

"Peeta's looking well." she says with a smile.

"Yeah, were getting there." I tell her. We chat for a while until she goes off to get some tea. I'm doing my best to avoid Gale, but with so few people here, it's proving difficult. Instead I focus my attention to Peeta, who I've barely seen since we've been here; he and posy seem to be hitting it off.

They sit on the floor together building a house of cards. I can't help but notice how good he is with children. Out of the corner of my eye I see Gale watching me as I watch Peeta. This lasts for a few minutes until it begins to bother me.

"What?" I turn and ask him

"Nothing" he says quietly, turning his eyes away from me.

"No, Gale, tell me? What's your problem now?" I say the anger rising up in me.

"It doesn't matter Katniss, just drop it, ok?" he says a little louder, not hiding the hurt in his voice.

This seems to grab everyone attention, as I look around and find all eyes on us. Hazelle shoots us a look that says if we're going to fight again she doesn't want it done here. I frown at gale only to find he's half way out the door. I jump down from the counter where I'd been sitting, and catch Peetas weary look as I run outside after Gale. It takes me a while to find him and I don't know why I hadn't looked there first. I run through the woods to our old rendezvous spot overlooking the valley where I find him sitting against the rocks with his elbows resting on his knees and his faces buried in his hands. In that moment, he looks like the 14 year old boy who I met all those years ago.

"It's pretty empty without you here Catnip" he says quietly, not taking his face out if his hands. I slowly walk toward him and take my seat next to him. I'd forgotten how breathtaking the view from the valley is from here. And really, it's amazing that it survived everything unscathed.

"How did we screw things up so badly?" I ask him. We sit in silence for a while, thinking things over.

"I didn't mean any of what I said on Saturday. I'm sorry Katniss" he says, finally looking at me

"I know" I say quietly.

I lean backwards, sliding down the rock, until I'm almost lying down and take in a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, too, for yelling at you yesterday, and ignoring you the past few months. I didn't know what to do." I tell him

"It's ok." He says. Then the look on his face changes and he appears to be thinking about something. He spends a few minutes like this, until he changes his facial expression and looks out over the valley.

"No, Gale, you were there for me last year when I had no one else. You know things about me that no one else does, and the only thing that got me through each day was hunting, here, with you." I tell him. He looks to me and smiles in reply. I strip a nearby bush of its berries and hand a few to Gale.

"Y'know, I always thought it'd be me, somehow." He says thoughtfully.

I laugh though my nose "So did I" I tell him.

He looks to me, and raises his eyebrows. "Really?" he asks.

I nod.

"At least before all of this happened, in my mind, I think it was always you." I say

"Until it wasn't." he says quietly.

"Gale..." I begin quietly, not wanting to hurt him more than I already have.

"No, it's ok Katniss. You're happier with him; I can see it in your eyes. Everyone has to grow up and move on some time, right?" he says. I look up to him, trying to figure out where he's going with this, to register some sort of emotion on his face. But no matter how much I search for some signs of pain, it's not there.

"Just promise me something?" he asks, and says before I can even reply "Promise me, that no matter what, we'll always be friends, because things kind of suck without you Katniss." He says with a smile that only Gale can produce, one that makes me forget why I was even angry at him.

"I promise" I tell him seconds before he pulls me into a crushing hug. We stay like for a few moments, making up for all the lost ones.

"I love you, Catnip." He says quietly

"I love you too, Gale." I tell him. Because it's true, and I can't deny it. He is my best friend and don't want to jeopardise that.

"When do you go back to 2?" I ask him

"I don't really know, to be honest, I promised my Mom that I'd stay here, at least for a few weeks. C'mon we better get back." He says indifferently, pulling me up with him. I consider this, and let a smile creep onto my face, because, well, it'd be good to have him around, at least for a while.

We make our way back to Gales house and quietly enter, only to find Hazelle and Peeta, who have obviously been in conversation, shoot us weary looks. We smile, assuring them that it's ok and I take to Peeta side, gently taking his hand. As the night goes on, we leave the Hawthornes thanking Hazelle, wishing Posy as happy birthday once again, and head home. However not before I promise Gale I'll see him soon. Peeta and I walk hand in hand and it's near impossible to wipe the smile from my face.

"Thank you" I say turning to Peeta. He looks at me curiously, trying to studying my face, which proves difficult in the growing dark.

"What for?" he laughs

"For having a level head and making me talk to Gale …For being here." I tell him fiddling with his hands.

"I always will be." He smiles, taking my hand and leading me home.


	9. Chapter 9: The Mail

**Hey guys! Here's chapter 9, hope you like it! Please R&R! :) **

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A few days pass since my resolution with Gale and I begin to feel more content with things. I've gained peace of mind, if you will. Gale and I decide to go hunting on the coming Sunday, and I find myself counting down the days. It's a Thursday evening when Peeta returns from work calling my name.

"Katniss!" he yells, it sounds so alert and I'm worried he could be having an episode.

"Katniss!" I hear again, the urgency rising. I run down the stairs and find him standing near the door, looking down at a card in his hand.

"What? What's wrong?" I ask quickly. He doesn't reply, he only looks between me and the card, with the look that suggests he wants to throw up.

"What is it?" I ask, finding my voice sounding more worried than I intended. He hands me the card and looks at me cautiously.

I read it over in my head and must begin to fall because Peetas hand is under my arm, supporting me.

_"In order to maintain the current state of peace throughout the districts, all remaining Victors are required to attend an obligatory event held in the Capitol, to recognize a year of liberty. Escorts will arrive on Friday, August 17th to travel to and prepare you for the Capitol. More information will be released on you arrival. A mandatory viewing will be broadcast throughout Pamen the night before you embark on this short journey, to prepare citizens and create anticipation. We look forward to seeing you soon. Yours, President Paylor". _

I feel my breathing become rapid and my palms are becoming sweaty. I look to Peeta who has the same look of horror on his face.

"This has got to be some sort of sick joke" I say quickly.

"I don't know Katniss. Maybe we should talk to Haymitch, he would have gotten one, too?" he suggests. I agree immediately, and we both rush over to his house and find him sitting at his table, liquor in hand. A lot like I had found him after the Quarter Quell announcement. He's drunk. Of course he is, what did we expect?

"Finally check our mail then, did we?" he sneers.

"This isn't funny, Haymitch!" I tell him slamming the card onto the table.

"What do they want us to do?" Peeta asks, taking the bottle from Haymitch.

"How am I supposed to know, kid? I know as much as you do. So, if you two don't mind, you can leave now." he says, the smell of liquor protruding through the air.

We shoot Haymitch horrible look and leave his house, slamming the door behind us. As we walk in we find the television lighting up, to find President Paylor herself announcing to the citizens of Panem, that a special broadcast will take place in a few days time, featuring past Victors. Then the screen flashes to Caesar Flickerman, who can't hide his excitement for the interviews.

Interviews. That's what we're going there for. I know immediately that this isn't good, for either of us. For any of the victors for that matter. Peeta and I stand motionless in front of the television until our arms find each others. Standing together, with his arms wrapped around me, I begin to shake, like I no longer have control of my body. Peeta tucks his finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"Katniss. Katniss, look at me. It'll be alright, ok? I promise. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." Peeta says gently, holding me tighter to his chest.

"It's not just me I'm worried about." I say. He looks to me confused because he obviously hasn't come to the same conclusion as I have.

"Being in the Capitol's not going to be good for you. What if they ask things you don't remember, or show you something that makes you see things? What if you …" I say frantically, but beginning to trail off toward the end as the possibilities that begin run through my head are ones that I don't even want to consider.

"I won't. We don't have a say in this Katniss, I'll do my best and you'll be there …. I'll be fine." He says unconvincedly.

"Ok" I whisper, tightening my grip around him, worried someone might take him away. At that moment there's a knock on the door and I reluctantly let Peeta go as he answers it.

We find Gale standing there, a confused look on his face.

"Are they even aloud to do this?" he asks walking inside. He seems almost as aggravated by this as we are. It's so very much like Gale to dissect the Capitol in this way, they'll never please him.

"I guess they can" Peeta sighs.

"When do you have to go?" Gale asks

"Tomorrow. Might have to take a raincheck on Sunday" I tell him

"I'll still be here" he says"This doesn't feel right though. Like there's something more to It." Gale continues, and tone of scrutiny in his voice. There he goes, always dissecting the capitols every move. Trying to figure out why and how they work.

"Maybe, I know no one is going to be happy about doing it." Peeta says

"What about you? Are you going to be able to do it?" he says directing his question to Peeta.

"I...I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised if they interview us together, so I'll have Katniss." Peeta says as convincingly as before.

A few moments pass and Gale shakes Peetas hands and pulls me into a hug

"Be careful Catnip" he says. "I'll see you when you get back."

"We should probably try getting some rest" Peeta says taking my hand and leading me upstairs.

But rest is futile as we enter the first of what will be many restless nights. And even wrapped in his arms the nightmares come in numbers. The morning still comes though, and Peeta gently wakes me, reminding me that we have to go soon. We're scheduled to be on the train at 10 so by 9:45 were at the station, waiting for Haymitch, our hands clenched tightly together. About three minutes before we're to leave he comes stumbling onto the platform with the reek of liquid more prominent than ever.

"Morning sweetheart." he snaps, pushing past us.

All of us are surprised, however, to find Effie Trinket awaiting us onboard. I'm actually somewhat relieved because I know her presence will be distracting at the least and she's the epitome of organization. Peeta and I are given separate rooms but we blatantly ignore this and head straight down to his room. We sit together, trying to forget the next few hours but to no avail. After some time I catch him staring at me as he so often does.

"What are you thinking, Katniss?" he asks softly taking my hand in his.

"That at least I won't be pretending for anyone this time." I tell him honestly.

He leans forward and gently, but for a long time, kisses me. I run my hand through his hair, pulling him closer to me in the process. I can feel his grip around my waist tighten but we finally pull away. I look to him, biting my lip but still smiling.

"I love you." He smiles

"I love you too" I tell him

An hour later Effie calls us to dinner, but the room feels so empty with just us and her. No Haymitch who, of course, is drunk in his bedroom. For once I don't mind talking to Effie because she seems generally interested in mine and Peetas lives, so we spend the night telling her. Eventually she bids us good night, not forgetting to mention that we have another "_big, big, big day_" ahead. Peeta can't help but laugh as he leads me back down to our room. He decides to take a shower and while I'm reluctant to let him go, I sit cross-legged on his bed, scribbling in his sketch book. Ten minutes pass until the bathroom door finally opens and Peeta comes back. He's wearing pants but other than that he's shirtless. I look at him a take a moment to realize my mouth's open in awe of him. The scars down his side I notice are beginning to fade, but his muscles are even more prominent than before. He kneels down next to the floor by his bag until he realizes that what he's searching for mustn't be there. He looks up to me, the light catching in his wet hair.

"Could you chuck me my shirt?" he asks with a smile. I look next to me to find his grey t-shirt sitting on the bed. I pick it up and study it, then shake my head at him, which only causes him to raise his eyebrows at me.

Without thinking, I pull off my own shirt, toss it aside and pull Peetas on over my singlet.

I jump off the bed and wander over to him, where he stands laughing. He catches my hands and holds them gently to his chest.

"What am I going to do with you?" he laughs pulling my arms around him. Touching his bare skin brigs a whole new sensation, one that makes me certain that I won't be the first to let go. When he finally let's go, I pull his shirt up toward my nose and smile.

"Smells like you" I tell him

"Hey, funny about that. What do I smell like?" he questions raising and eyebrow at me.  
I take a moment to consider this and then answer him.

"Cinnamon, and bread and dill, and paper, and everything good in the world." I say with a smile, taking a seat on the bed. We spend a great deal of the night talking, not wanting to sleep. But when we do, his arms protect me.


	10. Chapter 10: The Capitol

**Hey guys! Here's chapter 10, please R&R! I really love hearing your thoughts and ideas about the story, so please let me know! Also, i'm still thinking of doing a one-shot about Peeta in the Capitol during Mockingjay, if I did, would any of you read it? Alrighty, that's all.**

* * *

When morning comes we're woken by a knock on the door. It's Effie, of course, without her we wouldn't make it anywhere on time.

"Morning" Peeta smiles, opening the door. He finishes pulling on a shirt and Effie, stunned by his somewhat lack of clothing hurries away, not before telling us to be at breakfast in 10 minutes.  
I head to the bathroom and swap my pyjama shorts for a pair of pants, Peeta shirt, I decide, I can change later. I find that the morning seems to have abolished the feeling of dread that consumed me earlier. Perhaps a good night sleep brought me a new prospect on what the next few hours will hold. Maybe we'll get all of this over with as soon as possible, we can come home the next day and forget any of this had to happen. I walk out from the bathroom a few minute later and stride past Peeta who eyes follow me across the room.

"I'm not getting my shirt back, am I?" he grins.

"Nope" I smile

"Didn't think so." he says with a laugh, taking my hand and heading down to breakfast. When we walk in, I'm surprised to find Haymitch at the table, looking a little worse for wear. Effie sits across from him looking rather uncomfortable and quite disgusted at his blatant disregard for any form on common courtesy. It's almost like I'm 16 again, on a train with Peeta headed into who knows what, escorted by Effie, and kept under the not-so watchful eye of Haymitch.

"Finally ran out of liquor, did we?" I snap at him raising my eyebrows.

"Not in the mood, Sweetheart" is all he says, but even that doesn't carry its usual edge of bitterness so often associated between he and I.

Peeta shoots me a look that tells me to lighten up on him, so I do.

"You all best be ready by 10:30, at which time we will be arriving. You won't have your usual greeting of cameras however, this arrival is low key." Effie says trying to defuse the tension.

The Capitol, low key? I doubt very much that this will be the case, but I don't complain, the last thing I want right now is cameras.

At 9:45 Peeta and I head back to his room and sit in growing fear of what the next few days will hold. The interviews, we presume, will take place tonight and even though he says he's ok about it, the slight dip in Peetas eyebrows that appears every so often suggest otherwise.

I get changed out of Peetas shirt, making an attempt to at least look respectable to meet who ever await us. In the back of my head, however, I'm almost worried the smell would fade from it. When I return to the room I find Peeta sitting on the bed, looking through his sketch book. He looks up and smiles at me as I walk in.

"What's this?" he smiles holding up the page of scribbles I had done the night before.

"Uhh, nothing" I say dismissively

I take a seat next to him and inspect my drawing; it has his name written his big letters across the page surrounded by an array of other small drawings, most of which really are just scribbles.  
Peeta gently pulls the page, separating it from its binding, folds it up and places it in the pocket of his shirt.

"Now I have something of yours, too" is all he says with a smile.

Slowly the train comes to a stop as we pull into the station. Effie was right about it being low-key. Perhaps it was an overstatement considering that, aside from us, the places is deserted. There are no other trains, no other escorts or victors. Only us. Its emptiness is almost daunting compared to the amount of times I've seen the place packed to the rafters, full of people craning to get a look at a fresh crop of tributes.  
Effie takes us to the training centre, where we'll be staying. _Great_ I think _more things to test Peeta_. She tells us she'll be back at six to escort us to the studio.

"You will have a small prep team arrive at five, but you won't see President Paylor before tonight, so until then I'll leave you to your own devices." she says with an exited tone.  
Peeta and I don't have to be told twice. He grabs my hand and we hurry up to the roof. Once were up there I take in a deep breath of fresh air and stand in awe of the view.

"It's far too beautiful and intriguing up here for it to hold such terrible memories." I say, wandering over to the edge of the roof in order to take in the full view.

Peeta looks at me cautiously and then turns his gaze to the city. He leans against the railing, his back toward the city, his eyes following me across the roof.

"Y'know, on the contrary, this place – right here – holds some of my favourite memories." He says quietly, running his hand through his hair.

I give him an odd look, this time, trying to figure out what he's trying to say. I know that together we had spent a lot of time up here, but they were never in the best of circumstances.

"What do you mean?" I ask, going over to stand in front of him.

"That last day up here with you, before the Quell … To me that was the last day when I was myself, like, really myself… The old me." He says quietly

"Oh, Peeta" I whisper, taking his hand in my own.

"I guess it reminds me that I wasn't always like this. Part of me was good … Once" he says, evidently struggling to find his words.

I bring my other hand up, caress his face and look right into his eyes.

"Look at me" I say, vying for his eye contact and waiting until his eyes meet mine. Then I take a few moments to consider my words because I've never been anywhere near as good with them as he is.

"Peeta Mellark, you are the best person I've ever known. You always have been and you still are, ok? They might have tried to change you, but you're better than they are." I tell him softly

"Real or not real?" he asks so quietly it's barely audible

"Real" I tell him "Always real."


	11. Chapter 11: Caesar Flickerman

**Hey guys! Sorry, i feel like i haven't posted in ages, so here's Chapter 11, it's a lot longer than usual. Also, i've got another story; It's called Unforgettable Summer, it's still The Hunger Games, but it's AU, so please check it out, review and let me know what you think about it so far! **

**/s/8568801/1/Unforgettable-Summer**

**-Brooke**

* * *

When we reach our quarters I'm dumbfounded to find my old prep team awaiting me in the dining area. Three people I'd never seen, however, sit in place of Peetas. This all feels too much like the Games and Peeta must sense this too, because he quickly wraps his arms around me and kisses me, which makes Octavia let out a small squeal. My team spends much of their time taking, as usual, but Octavia asks about Peeta and I, "oohing" and "ahing" at all the rights moments. Apparently, they're going for a very simple look this time, my hair pulled to one side, forming a neat line down my shoulder. My makeup is minimal, only small highlight over my cheekbones, and my eyelashes are now considerably longer. When they show me my dress it's gorgeous, but nothing compared to what Cinna could create. It's red, but overlaid with a white lace that forms patterns down the length of it, where it stops just above my knees. My look tells me that they're still subtly going for the Girl on Fire effect. But let's not forget it was the same _Girl on Fire_ who caused much of Panem to perish.

They each stand back and inspect their work, adjusting things here and there. And before long they're hugging me good bye and wishing me all the best for tonight. I wander out of my room in search of Peeta, finding him in the living area, seated on the lounge. He's resting his chin on his finger tips, his elbows rested on his knees, one of which is quickly bouncing up and down, setting a nervous pace. He stands up as he sees me and grins. Then he presses his lips together and slightly shakes his head from side to side. He takes my hand and spins me slowly around, catching the other as I stop.

"You still have no idea" he begins and then smiles "the effect you can have"

He's dressed simply too - a white shirt, grey suit, and black shoes.

"Are you sure you're going to be ok?" I ask quietly, resting my forehead against his chin.

"I really don't know" he sighs, running a hand through my hair.

A moment later Haymitch walks out with a glum look on his face. He's dressed in a black suit, blue shirt and black shoes. He greets us with a forced smile.

"Wait; is there anything I need to know before we do this? Anything I might not remember?" Peeta asks. Haymitch and I both think for a moment.

"Everyone thinks you two are married, at least that's what you told them last year." Haymitch says pointing between the two of us. Peeta frowns considering this for a moment.

"OK. Anything else?" he asks

"Not that I can think of, but I'll let you know. You need to be careful in there, kid -that place, all those people - it could bring up some bad stuff, ok? And who knows what they'll ask you about." Haymitch says, placing a hand on Peetas shoulder

"I know." he says quietly.

Just then Effie appears in the elevator, ushering us inside.

"Oh, look at you three!" she squeals in excitement. At least someone's excited.

Once we reach the studio we're ushered into a room filled with other victors. I feel Peeta grip on my hand tighten as we look around at the room full of glum faces. But at the same time, I see too many faces missing. Finnick, Wiress, Mags.

"Hey, Brainless! Loverboy" I hear. I turn to find Johanna Mason, the District 7 victor standing next to us. She wears that smug smile she so often sported, but in 13 our relationship shifted a little, maybe we're friends? Her hair has regrown in spikes across her head and she's in a pale green dress.

"You finally got your marbles back, Peeta? Or maybe not, 'cause you're still with her?" she says, pointing between the two of us and raising an eyebrow.

"Nice to see you too, Johanna." Peeta laughs

"How's your cousin, Katniss?" She laughs, bumping her hip against mine, the way she so often had done to Gale in 13.

A hush falls through the room as Paylor enters, accompanied by another woman whom I've never seen before. Paylor introduces the woman, telling us her name's Nielsen. She has a very stern appearance about her that makes me that whatever she says goes. Nielsen addresses us all, assuring us these interviews are a once off, they only thought it was necessary to hold some form of recognition. Each victor will have a 7 minute interview with Caesar across the duration of the night.

"The end of each interview, the recap of your games shown will be played. This will serve as a reinforcer of peace through the districts. To show them how far we've come." Nielsen says. During this time Paylor stands awkwardly to the side of the room, which makes me think that she had very little say in this at all. Perhaps she disagreed with the whole thing initially.

"Things must be that great if, after only a year, the Districts need reinforcing." Haymitch says, voicing my exact thoughts. His words are met with calls of agreement from the others.

"I can assure you, Mr. Abernathy, that that is not the case" Nielsen says sternly

Paylor and Nielsen turn to leave the room, but I catch up to the two of them before they have the chance.

"Have you not thought about what this might do to Peeta?" I ask somewhat frantically. There are only a handful of people who know the extent of Peetas hijacking, and quite frankly, we'd all like to keep this number at a bare minimum. Potentially exposing it to all of Pamen doesn't seem quite like the way to go about it though. In a moment, both Haymitch and Peeta are by my side.

"Showing him footage of our games? You can't make him go through that."

"Katniss, Peeta will be perfectly safe. It will be fine." Nielsen says, which only makes me think that she evidently is not a member of the select few who know.

"You can't guarantee that! Peeta can't even guarantee that!" I plead with her.

"Is there something you'd like me to do to put your mind at ease then?" she asks, raising an eyebrow at me as if I'm some small child who doesn't understand what's going on.

"Don't make him do it" I retort

"That's out of the question" Nielsen says

"Let me be interviewed with Katniss. She'll help me keep a grip on things." Peeta asks, a sense of desperation in his voice.

"It isn't necessary for you two to keep up the whole '_star-crossed lovers'_ act now, you know that?" she questions

It's all I can do not to storm out of the room right there and then. I give her look; one that Effie would say is 'un-lady-like'. Though right now ,I don't care because, her thoughts that despite everything Peeta and I had been through together, the possibility of us being together, even as friends, seems almost unthinkable to her.

"OK. I'll have Caesar interview you together. Katniss you'll be called first, and Peeta, you'll be called out a few minutes in. Because they'll be combined, your interview will go for longer. I'm sorry, that's the best I can do for you." Paylor says sympathetically, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"It'll have to do." Haymitch sighs, shaking his head ever so slightly

"Thankyou" Peeta says hurriedly before she leaves the room.

Slowly, but surely, each victor leaves the room to have their interview, many of whom are not looking particularly happy about doing so. District Twelve is last so after quite some time, it's just Haymitch, Peeta and I left in the room. We all exchange empathetic looks.

"What do you think they'll actually ask us about?" Peeta asks

"I don't know, given the roles you both played in the Revolution and the chaos you incited before hand, I can't imagine it being too in depth. Probably just about life after the war. Who knows really" He frowns.

"Haymitch, you don't think they ask about _her_ do you?" I ask, suddenly feeling sick at the thought of bringing up my sister.

"I doubt it, if we're really reinforcing peace, they won't bring up unjustified deaths." he says giving me a half-hearted smile.

Suddenly a studio worker is at the door, telling me they're ready. Haymitch gives me a half-hearted-smile, while Peeta holds me tightly for a moment. The door closes behind me and I can hear Caesar Flickerman's voice booming across the stage. He announces my name and I walk out to greet him, taking his extended hand. I take a minute to adjust to the lights and take a seat next to him. This year he's sporting light pink hair with a matching suit, his skin is a bright orange colour, and between now and our last meeting, his teeth have manage to stay a perfect, bright white.

"Ahh, Katniss, how lovely it is to see you again!" he exclaim.

"Thank you, Caesar and you" I say, trying to avoid looking out at the crowd of thousands before me.  
He makes chit chat for about a minute, during which he congratulates me on my dress choice and tells me how excited everyone in the Capitol is tonight. Of course, they don't have young children dying on television for their entertainment. No one's lives to place bets on, no Victory Tours to anticipate. I wander my eyes over to the crowd, I can see how desperately starved for entertainment they are. Ceaser follows my eyes and takes my hand in his, vying for my lost attention.

"Oh, Katniss, I can just tell you want him out here. Let's bring him out, ladies and gentlemen, Peeta Mellark!" he announces, his voice echoing throughout the studio.

Seconds later Peeta comes out and my hearts beating so quickly, any sane person would come to the conclusion that something's not right. But in all honesty seeing him incited a smile that I can't possibly wipe off. I walk over to him and head straight for his out stretched arms, locking mine tightly around his neck.

"Don't let me go." he whispers in my ear, trying to hide the shaky edge to it.

I take his hand and lead him over to Caesar, who both shakes hands and I can't stop my mind from revisiting one of their last encounters; Peeta's hijacking was at its worst and his health was diminishing quickly, yet he still found the strength to come to my defence, yelling madly at Caesar.

"Katniss and Peeta! Believe me when I say I never thought I'd interview the two of you together, again." he sighs. "But here we are, back to where it all began. Tell me, how are your lives now? Obviously still madly in love." he smiles to the audience.

"You have you idea, Caesar. Every day, she opens my eyes to how unbelievably lucky I am." Peeta says staring into my eyes.

"However, there is some sad news" Caesar begins, and now I'm worried that maybe he really will bring up my sister. What an interview that'd be.

"The loss of your unborn baby, Katniss, during your last games. That must have been hard on you both." Caesar sighs sympathetically. Though the horribly high death count caused by the war he mentions the death of an unborn child that never really existed. One that Peeta probably won't remember.

I feel his grip tighten on my hand, and he takes in a deep breath. I gently place my spare hand on his knee, doing my best not to lose him. It's all he can do now not to burst out with questions, He's fighting, but right now I just want to draw the shutters, block the rest of Panem out and explain everything to him.

"The new was very sad, Caesar, I think we both had a lot to take in during those times." I say, trying to leave the details as vague as possibly.

"I'll sway a little off topic here, but Katniss, run me through what was going through your head, that last night of the quell?" Caesar asks. I take a deep breath and consider my words for a moment.

"Caesar, I was just trying to do all I could keep Peeta alive. The moment that wire was cut, I knew something was wrong and I tried to get back to him, and I heard the cannons, but he was calling for me. I didn't know what to do; I did what I could to get him out of there, alive." I say quietly

Caesar sits in complete silence listening to my recount of the Quell. "Hmm. And Peeta? how about you?" Caesar says holding his index finger to his chin. Peeta takes a moment, too, to consider what he'll say, and then looks to me.

"Trying to keep each other alive was only going to last so long, right?" he says quietly

"And what about now days, how have your lives changed since the Revolution and your Games?" Caesar asks

"We've lost a lot of unreplaceable people and I won't lie; it's not easy. But we've got each other... For good this time" Peeta smiles at me. His eyes are clear when they look into mine, but I can still see the confusion in them.

"Well, Katniss and Peeta I wish you both the very best for your future, it's been great getting to see you again." Caesar sighs

Before we leave, however, the giant screen behind us lights up and the decals of our games are being shown.

It's like I'm reliving the whole thing and I can only imagine it's ten times worse for Peeta. I see myself and Peeta at the tribute parade, at our interviews - the moment when he tells everyone how he really feels. Then we're in our cave, working our way through a mix of emotions, which only leads us away from the Mutts and to the cornucopia and the fight with Cato. Incidentally the part with the berries is cut out and it goes straight to me yelling for Peeta from inside the hovercraft. There aren't many segments of footage from the Quell though. Only us on the beach and me crying over Peeta as Finnick restarts his heart. Then the screen goes blank, and we're ushered off stage. I can feel Peeta grip on my hand tighten more as we head past Haymitch. He gives us the same half-hearted smile as he had earlier. We're directed into a room a short distance away from the first one and as we enter we find it to be full of the other victors. I lead Peeta to a quiet corner of the room and enter his outstretched arms. He feels tense and his breathing is shaky at best, so I insist he sits down while I explain to him everything he wants to know. He does what he's told and takes a seat, resting his chin on the tips of his fingers. He doesn't talk for a while, only sits there with a painful look on his face as he tries to unravel the reel of questions and memories the interview incited. He finally looks up at me, his face a little calmer but his eyes still somewhat distant.

"You were pregnant? Real or not real?" he asks

"Not real. You only told people I was so maybe they'd stop the Quell. People think I lost it when I blew up the arena." I say.

"You risked your life more me, so many times, Katniss. " he says raising an eyebrow

"You've risked yours for me just as many times" I tell him sincerely

"But, why would you do that though? I don't get it. Why?" he begins, bringing his hands up and rubbing his eyes. I take his hands in my own

"Because that's what you and I do, we protect each other, ok? You know that, Peeta." I tell him gently.

"Ok" he says, accepting my hand up and pulling me into his arms.

"You did good, kid" Haymitch says from behind us. "Is everything ok?"

"I think so" I tell him

Only a few moments later Paylor and Nielsen enter the room to debrief us all before were allowed to leave. They congratulate us and express their gratitude for our efforts. Were told we can leave as early as tomorrow morning which, really, is the only good thing I've heard all night. The sooner we get out of here, the better. We head through the maze of corridors and Victors in order to find the one room from which we can leave. The room seems to be under the rest of the building and a chilly; eerie feeling seems to be ever present. In my short, sleeveless dress I can't help but shiver and cross my arms over my chest. Only a few Victors have left and already the hairs on my arms are standing on end.

"You're cold" Peeta says noticing Goosebumps decorating my skin. He pulls of his jacket and hands it to me with a slight smile

"I'm fine" I insist

"Katniss" he says, raising and eyebrow, in a way that says he and I both know this isn't the case. I accept his jacket and he smiles with satisfaction as he leans against the wall behind him. By this time only three other victors have had the opportunity to leave, so I figure I might as well get comfortable; I rest backward, leaning against Peeta, pull his arms around the front of my waist and take hold of his hands.

"Thankyou" he says quietly, kissing the top of my head. I hold his hands tighter and gently kiss one of them as Peeta rests his chin on my head.


End file.
